12 February 2012

# Love Bytes

Love Byte #9 - Love is a dose of reality !


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Consciously or unconsciously we all bring a wide range of expectations into our relationships everyday , these expectations maybe about the way things should be or how people should behave and often without any realization we thrust these unspoken , half hidden expectations presuming that our loved ones would somehow know and fulfill them ..thru ESP perhaps or mind reading ?

So ok , I'll admit , I'd probably like to give my spouse a tremendous amount of grief too for not knowing what I want , when most of the times he does ,  but that's the case  - not because he's read my mind - but because living with someone gives you the advantage of knowing a person and the more you know someone , the more are you able to anticipate his or her needs .. my spouse definitely did not know I want my coffee more than him in the mornings but over time he does .. 
 ..so the thumb rule here is to verbalise expectations .. 
it takes way less time and is far less agonising than the misery you're ready to put each other through !

But hang on , as important as it is to verbalize , its even more critical to ensure the expectations are realistic , not based on what you see around you or on other people's relationship or even what you see on television ..because its unfair to compare or be compared , because what you share is unique , and therefore deserves a bit of credit ..

The best part is once you communicate , discuss and set your expectations out in the open , you're able to weed out what is unreasonable or can't be done and put in equal effort to do what you can and do it better because you're now part of the same team , working with the same motive , to make the relationship great and when you're part of the same team , you've already won !!

4 comments:

  1. Verbalizing feelings is the best way to fix situations and yet so hard to do! but then again once you've talked you feel so much better. Thank you for these series!

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  2. ...when ure part of the same team u've already won. that is sucha hopeful and happy sentence :)
    I love the sound of it..and it goes into my book of quotable quotes (most of which not-so-surprisingly are by you Priya) hehe
    Verbalising always always helps.No one's a mind reader.. and hey, no one's perfect either.

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  3. Priya, most definitely, communication is the key. The sad things is that many of us women expect men to "read between the lines" when we both know they don't possess such an ability. I say, if you want something, ask for it in a clear and concise manner. No mind games, no word play, just straight up easy to understand vocabulary! :)

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  4. Priya, where you at, girl? Miss you, lady!

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