My Boy'sterous Reflections

While Love always is and will be the most important ground for a solid enduring marriage, Fidelity comes a close second...

According to a study conducted by the University of Texas at Austin “The first two years of marriage foreshadow the long term marital fate after 13 years…The researchers also discovered that the difference between the happily married and unhappily married groups were apparent right after they tied the knot ..”

In layman terms...what it means is that a couple must work on their marriage as soon as their “wedding” is over because your marriage is not a constant …it’s a variable , a dependent variable whose value depends on the presence or absence of other variables in the environment you create.. if that’s too much Maths which I think it is, it simply means that a Marriage is what you make of it and therefore it’s important that you spend the first few years of your relationship taking the time to discover each other, spending quality time with each other, learning to love each other, learning to appreciate the differences and similarities and making a few adjustments and compromises..

While I agree that the comfort derived from having married someone you’ve been in a relationship with might be greater than marrying someone who you don’t know (Love marriage Vs. Arranged Marriage) it does not in any way undermine the effort that needs to be put in either of the cases and therefore the initial adjustment can be sometimes a bit of a struggle too especially when things may not always work out the way you like them to be and then at that point of time in life giving up or running away from the situation seems like a lucrative option ..Infact the travails of bringing semblance of normality in your relationship can sometimes even sows seeds of doubt like ..if he or she is the kind of partner you had wanted to spend your life with and add to that the hectic lifestyles one leads in today’s life and it’s enough of a temptation to commit infidelity .When one refers to Infidelity , it does not always imply an extra marital affair because that’s just one part of it and I believe that Infidelity includes any and all such acts that one consciously commits fully understanding the repercussion or threat it poses to one’s already existing relationship ..It’s like Susanna Abse said "It's the thought that matters, not the sex" and therefore emotional infidelity is as devastating for a relationship as is physical infidelity because you’re draining your marriage of the love it needs to survive in turn debilitating it to the point of no return..

However like for all things, Infidelity has a flip side too because some are of the opinion that the revelation of a cheating partner does not always mean the relationship is finito...sometimes it can be a catalyst for change and renewal too...restoring life to a dead relationship...

However, having said that, It does not necessarily mean that one needs to commit infidelity to find the worth of your own relationship...In my opinion a dating couple might survive it but it can most certainly ruin an otherwise perfectly good marriage …the best example being Tiger Woods.. He may continue to apologize to his family and loved ones for his transgressions and seem apologetic too but I am sure he has realized this by now that it surely wasn’t worth it.

I end this post with a message to all couples on the meaning of Fidelity. It’s something I read and immediately connected with...I hope you like it too …

And thats how it all began for us ..From being friends to best friends to sweethearts to betrotheds to finally becoming husband and wife..its been quite a journey ..and on 5th of Dec we celebrated 12 years of togetherness and 3 years of wedded bliss ..

An anniversary of love is always a special occasion coz its a reminder of all the beautiful memories you've created together over the years and its a celebration of the happiness and joy you bring in each other's life everyday and most significantly its a time to renew the vows you made , a time to reiterate your promise to each other ..

a promise to continue loving each other unconditionally..

a promise to create many more precious memories together ...

a promise to discover and enjoy new things about each other ..

a promise to enrich your lives with more laughter and joy

And while you make the promise to strengthen your love and marriage for forever , its only fair to also take the time to thank your partner for those everyday little things you take for granted in a marriage .. So on our anniversary of love , id like to say thank you sweetheart..

Thank you,

for having the good sense to choose me even though it took you 12 whole days..

for always loving me , esp at times when i deserve it the least but need it the most..

for always giving me unsolicited advice hoping i might pay heed..

for taking care of me when im sick , literally and otherwise ..

for never letting me sleep over an argument because you want to argue more..

for cooking great meals regardless of the help you get from me ..

for doing the laundry even if it means washing only your clothes..

for your sense of humor despite knowing all your jokes are aimed at me..

for making sense out of all life's nonsense..

for being my better half but accepting ill always be the best..

Id like to thank you much more but then that would entail making fun of you and you know i dont like that :P

On a serious note ..Life surely wouldnt be half as fun or crazy if it was'nt for you ...Thank you for being you :)

The truth is never appealing but the truth is sometimes the best of friends grow apart ..

Infact you're in a state of disbelief and feel despondent especially if it happens with a friend you seem to have known almost all your life..It makes you reflect on all the years gone by and the credibility of your relationship...It makes you deliberate on what brought you together in the first place and what has changed ..It makes you ruminate on how you managed to grow apart in the process of growing up together..

Is this the point of no return or a crossroad ?

Is it natures way of saying it wasnt meant to be ?

Is it time to move on ?

None of the above options seem plausible or legitimate , you've invested so much in your friendship that you're not ready to let go and it compels you to contemplate on the meaning of friendship ..

So what is the meaning of Friendship ?

What does being Friends mean ?

Friendship is a relative term ..it means different things to different individuals ..

For me friendship involves a relationship ..

it means being there for each other when you'd rather be somewhere else ..

it means taking the time out for each other from your busy schedule ,sometimes to talk and sometimes just to listen ..

it means doubling your joys and dividing your sorrows ..

it means telling each other what they need to hear not what they like to hear ..

it means moving on together and not leaving the other behind..

it means making a positive difference in each other's lives ..

it means making life simpler and happier ..

Friendship means more than i can explain in a few sentences , after all it isnt just one big word , its a million little things you do for each other and like every other relationship being friends requires a bit of hard work too ..coz its not just taking ..its giving back too !

Someone once told me friends are best categorised into Best friends , Guest friends and Pest friends in order of their usefulness ;-)

In a lighter vein , whichever category i classify my friends into , here's a friendship oath i read on the internet that deserves a read and a good laugh :D

When you are sad,

I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the jerk who made you sad.

When you are scared,

I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried,

I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused,

I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

And when you are lost,

I will answer my cell phone and give you directions.

When you are sick,

I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

When you fall,

I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath, I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask?