08 February 2012

# Love Bytes

Love Byte #7 - To love is to endure ...

Savage Chickens - Love and Tolerance
Image via Savagechickens

True for every relationship , but especially marriage when it comes to this particular virtue - the virtue of tolerance .. because once you're married the number of times one requires to be patient and tolerant is ironically sometimes beyond tolerance .. 
whether its learning to appreciate the fact that your partner may not always think or behave in a way you like or are used to , or the fact that you might face sticky situations that you've never dealt with , all by yourself or as a couple .. or even the fact that you must learn to respect , deal with a new family , their traditions and their way of doing things ..

For most I know dealing with your partner's family tops the chart because while living day in and day out with your partner makes you oblivious / habitual to each other's as annoying as they can get mannerisms and idiosyncrasies , nothing quite prepares you for the "in-law' syndrome .. and nothing I write here WILL ,  
so .. 
let's just say no matter how good or bad the circumstances are or get  , a little patience and tolerance goes a long long way in paving the path to any and every successful relationship/ marriage .. but tolerance is only possible when you share an open, communicative and reciprocal relationship , where one has the freedom to voice one's opinion without the fear of being judged or where one has the assurance that the other is as inviting of criticism as of correction .. and the absence of either turns tolerance into indifference ..

Love is not easy , neither are relationships but if you remember things that matter most like communication , mutual respect , faith , unconditional love , the rest falls into place , all on its own .. 

In the words of Paul Sweeney,
'A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. 
The order varies for any given year. '

How true !! 
Infact ,  to be honest , of all the things , I find tolerance to be the most challenging aspect of any relationship .. and you , what do you think the most challenging aspect is ?


  1. The bible says patience is a virtue and my husband is short on it :/ I have way more than he does. We compliment each other in that way. Although, sometimes it is hard we've managed.

  2. How aptly summed up-Priya...this aspect of love!Yes patience,tolerance and the freedom to communicate whatever one feels,do indeed pave the way for all successful and loving relationships,not just marriage.I'm still learning...

  3. I do think patience, tolerance and open communication is important in a marriage. I'm still learning it now and I realise that I have to tell my hubby what is going on instead of being hurt and upset and silent. As if he should know what is wrong.

  4. Im still a novice in what goes in to making a marriage work. But from waht ive learnt over the years watching my parents is that ..silence, knowing when to shut up n listen, respect and the freedom to communicate ur thoughts are crucial ingredients to have a good marriage.
    But the one element that Ive only recently discovered is - tolerance. and boy do these married couples 'tolerate' their beter halves..and do such a good job at it too hehe
    I think this is my fav byte .... oh wait havent i already said that about so many.. :P
    U just know what to say/write priya dearest.

  5. Priya, if you're in a long term relationship, tolerance is needed if you expect for it to work out. Sadly, being together for a long time with a person makes one quite intolerable. We tend to exit the honeymoon phase and allow impatience to rule. I'll be honest and say this is something I have to work hard on every day. I find my impatience getting the best of me, some days, and as a result, this does not make for a happy go lucky environment. But, with a little work and tenacity, we're able to get over the hump and carry on! :)


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