17 November 2009

A Way of Life .

"If only someone had helped...if only i had done things differently...maybe he would be still alive.." and as i listened to her , a shiver ran down my spine and i was completely numb ..She was my friends mom and while my friend had lost his dad , she had lost her spouse ..

Ironically for me this was not the first time i had seen a friend lose a parent / sibling or loved one and each time it seems even worse than the last time...but then no one can be prepared for death.. its a reality.. a reality i wish i did not have to deal with ..

Admittedly so, i struggled with my self to make that phone call ..no doubt we knew each other since school but then that was a long time ago ..our lives had moved on and we had gone our own separate ways ..we had completely lost touch ..but life is strange and who knew our paths would cross again ..infact i never imagined it would be under such circumstances ..

I pondered on what could i possibly say to comfort someone who had lost a loved one ?? Saying i understood would be a blatant lie ..Infact i believe one cant possibly fathom how much it hurts to lose someone ..till u go through a situation like this ..
But maybe this is exactly the line of reasoning that led me to lose a friend i cudnt get to calling when he lost his mother and i wasnt ready to lose another old friend ...We may have not been the best of buddies but there is a sort of comfort that one shares with friends from school and picking up right from where you left off seems to come naturally ..Thank God for small mercies ..this same feeling of solace led me to make the call ..

His lugubrious voice conveyed it all , the devastation and pain of losing a parent , the angst of having to put up a brave facade, the queer feeling of having to grow up overnight ..and as we talked, he whispered a thank you and then it struck me it wasnt so much about what i was supposed to say , just a tacit expression conveying his friends were there for him should he need them more than sufficed .. I was at peace with myself ..

As i pray to the Lord for giving him and his family the strength to endure this , i also pray for fortitude for helping them build their life back again ..and while Death is an imminent reality of life ..it also teaches a lot about Life ..it teaches you to enjoy life while you still can ...So spread cheer and happiness wherever you go , laugh a lot , hug a lot , say i love u a lot , eat , drink , splurge , take chances , be goofy ..do whatever makes you happy and brings contentment in your life ..

Live life to the fullest !


  1. this post is out at a great time. i recently have been through a situation where I was supposed to call to convey my condolences and I did not know what to say. Hesitant, I waited for a couple of days and then finally gathered the strength to call. And yes, I reaised its not that difficult,as the friend just expects to hear u and know that a friend is out there and reachable.
    well writen once again:-) keep blogging

  2. Thanks Megha ..
    and yes its not that difficult..like they say..
    "The hardest part of any journey is taking that first step .."
    Keep reading !!

  3. Well said Darings, The hardest part is 'only' the first step. How we dither in taking it..wish we did'nt.
    Makes us lose dear friends/relationships/loved ones...so often.
    Love you for squeezing the heart..in a loving way though :)

  4. absolutely true...
    and i am ashamed to say that i am one big chicken when it comes to situations like these...
    i need to learn a lot...

  5. @ Jess ..It took one call to lose a friend and one call to win back another so yeah its really abt taking that one small step ..a leap of faith :)
    Love u for loving what i write..m *moti* vated :P * Hugs *

    @ Sneha .. Life is one big growing up process ..the older u grow the more you learn ..
    Lots of love nd hugs

  6. Truly said sis......just taking first step is the hardest part of the journey and that to in situation like this......thanks for helping or rather pushing me in taking that step.......even i didn't have the words to say when i called him up.....but now after talking to him i feel very halka halka from inside.........and hopefully again got our old frd back....
    love u sis PIRIYA...:)

  7. Love u too bhai ...
    and like it less or a lot ,
    u can always count on me to tell u wat to do and wat not ..
    :P :D

  8. that to i always do sis....it goes without saying....

  9. Do u have a choice bhai :-P
    I dont think so ..hahahahahaha :-D :-D


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