My Boy'sterous Reflections

The in between planning a child and having one .. 

When you first decide you want to have a baby , you're so thrilled that even before you've tried to conceive you've already had the baby.. in your mind you've envisioned the whole deal !!

Your perception is further skewed by the instant pregnant syndrome that plagues movies and media in general and while some of you are lucky enough to get pregnant when you choose to , the luckier ones like me take a while -some a few months , some a year and others maybe more.. which is why I wanted to particularly write about this because I now realize I wasn't the only one who went through those traumatizing emotions. It devours you so much so that the world seems to be conspiring against you .. I could spot one or all pregnant women in a crowd ..lil babies and kids gave me heart ache..The idea of meeting / talking to expectant and new moms was nauseating .I felt rage and jealousy ..I felt people were having more babies just to spite me and every time I tested negative the sense of loss was excruciatingly painful ..I chastised myself like there was something wrong with me. One of the most offered advice ( doesn't everyone have one about everything , asked for or not ..Gawdddd !! ) was "It'll happen the minute you stop fretting about it." Oh yeah ! like that's possible :O I wanted to kick everyone who said that to me because frankly , I was all consumed by this need to have my baby ,every waking moment ..no matter what I did , esp the two weeks before I tested and if I got delayed did my hopes bounce up and down like a roller coaster ride .

I remember a conversation with my grandma who said to me , " You,the next generation try so hard to not get pregnant and when you finally decide you want to , you expect a miracle ! That's now how it works ! " I now comprehend what she meant but at that particular time there's nothing anyone can say or do that can make you feel better ..The heart wants what it wants, when it wants .I recall finding a lil solace in lying to myself , telling myself that when the time was right , I would be pregnant but in all candor its hard , its exhausting and its stressful and each failed attempt is more discouraging than the last. One of the few times I've wished in my life , to be a man just so I could be totally nonchalant - it would make the whole ordeal so much more easier. I never even vaguely remember the husband getting worked up about it and yet catastrophic is how it would feel to me , the end of the world , the end of me !

It took us a lil more than a year to get pregnant , boy ! the lil rascal made us wait alright :P and it was the most agonizing wait ever !! atleast that's what I thought and then fast forward I was in labor and believe me agonizing has a whole new meaning then ! 

What I really wish to say is that if you've gone through , are going through or have been through this , you know you're not alone and as outrageous as it may sound now , don't forget to laugh coz soon , yes sooooon this will be all over and they'll be a bonny baby in the house making you laugh so hard you''ll cry ..ha !!

Once upon a time there was a happy and content couple ..

and they loved each other so much they decided to have a child .. 

Well either that Or they were crazy coz making the decision to having a baby and HAVING a baby is so completely disparate . It is monumental alright but you really don't know what you're getting into.. ha ! Those parenting books , new parent classes , baby sitting , taking care of your sibling's child or kids in the family is not even close to what you'll experience - believe me !! and yet therein lies the appeal , the element of surprise and the reason why once you've come out alive of that ordeal you're willing to put yourself through it all over again in a jiff :P 

On a serious note , I've always believed that the decision to want a child should always be yours and yours alone as a couple . Where I come from , there's tremendous pressure to bear kids once you're married for a reasonably acceptable time and the definition of that time may vary from a few days to months maybe if you're lucky -years ;) and its okay if it were just that , you can deal with parental pressure ( that's what parents are for !! ) but there's the scrutinizing eyes of the one dozen aunts and uncles , married cousins , family friends , your own friends turned parents , neighbors , well wishers and their immense concern for what you are and aren't doing in the bedroom .. GOSH ! it can become a bit too much .. and yes it gets to you and annoys you but don't let that be the rationale behind wanting a child . There's so much to take under advisement , there's obviously the financial aspect , then there's the physical ( Oh yes! a baby will make those bones hurt and weak overnight :D )  but most vital of them all is to be mentally prepared , to be a parent , to take care of another life and to be responsible round the clock 24*7 and just in case you skipped all the above and were careless , not that I'm judging but tsk tsk .. you have give or take 9 months to prepare yourself :P :P coz a wise man or woman once said , 

"Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned , medically coaxed or happened by surprise , one thing is certain your life will never be the same. "

Hey my blogger friends .. So I wanted to do this last year but an infant and a travelling husband made it almost impossible to find time to think , let alone write . 

Love Bytes is my most favorite/cherished series in this blog and this year I wanted to do Love Bytes with a maternal twist . I couldn't write the whole of last year but there are things that I experienced , emotions I felt that only happen once in a lifetime cause the first of everything in life is extra extra special , right ? So before I forget those tingles I wanted to capture them in some way for posterity . Thank you for reading along .