My Boy'sterous Reflections

Lawrence Housman said ,

"If nature arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively , there would never be more than three in a family. " 

I find the above so hilariously true coz we go through hell and back with all that pregnancy brings us , nausea , vomiting , heart burn , back ache , swollen feet , sleepless nights , constant need to pee and more , we moan and groan persistently and yet there is unequivocally a sense of power , a magic in being able to create and give birth to another life, that keeps us coming back for more .. 

Of all the myriad reasons there are two that made me love my pregnant self , the first was hands down the baby kicks , right from when they're lil flutters that make you smile to the time they become jabs that make you grin and wince at the same time , they're like a constant reminder that we're not alone , not now , not ever !!

The other being the husband's compliments .. he's stingy when it comes to those, but not then and every time he would say I was glowing and beautiful , it would make me blush like a teenager .. 

Having said that , this may not be a universal sentiment and I agree no pregnancy is sheer bliss, mine wasn't either but comparatively I had a much easier pregnancy .. either that or one year of child rearing has given me irrevocable memory loss..

What was your favorite part or memory about your first time pregnancy ?

There's no way I can explain it except that the very first time you get to hear your baby's heart beat , its SURRRRRREAL !!!

                                                                                             Image via Google

All firsts are memorable but this first it is pretty damn spectacular .. it's a ONCE in a lifetime , take your breath away kind of moment and it still gives me the goose bumps every single time !! What made this occasion even more momentous was timing it with the husband's birthday ..I know I'm never going to be able to top that gift but every birthday will be such a joyous reminder of that deliriously happy first time we whispered hello to our lil one ,

such a joyous reminder to me to remind the husband :P

The in between planning a child and having one .. 

When you first decide you want to have a baby , you're so thrilled that even before you've tried to conceive you've already had the baby.. in your mind you've envisioned the whole deal !!

Your perception is further skewed by the instant pregnant syndrome that plagues movies and media in general and while some of you are lucky enough to get pregnant when you choose to , the luckier ones like me take a while -some a few months , some a year and others maybe more.. which is why I wanted to particularly write about this because I now realize I wasn't the only one who went through those traumatizing emotions. It devours you so much so that the world seems to be conspiring against you .. I could spot one or all pregnant women in a crowd ..lil babies and kids gave me heart ache..The idea of meeting / talking to expectant and new moms was nauseating .I felt rage and jealousy ..I felt people were having more babies just to spite me and every time I tested negative the sense of loss was excruciatingly painful ..I chastised myself like there was something wrong with me. One of the most offered advice ( doesn't everyone have one about everything , asked for or not ..Gawdddd !! ) was "It'll happen the minute you stop fretting about it." Oh yeah ! like that's possible :O I wanted to kick everyone who said that to me because frankly , I was all consumed by this need to have my baby ,every waking moment ..no matter what I did , esp the two weeks before I tested and if I got delayed did my hopes bounce up and down like a roller coaster ride .

I remember a conversation with my grandma who said to me , " You,the next generation try so hard to not get pregnant and when you finally decide you want to , you expect a miracle ! That's now how it works ! " I now comprehend what she meant but at that particular time there's nothing anyone can say or do that can make you feel better ..The heart wants what it wants, when it wants .I recall finding a lil solace in lying to myself , telling myself that when the time was right , I would be pregnant but in all candor its hard , its exhausting and its stressful and each failed attempt is more discouraging than the last. One of the few times I've wished in my life , to be a man just so I could be totally nonchalant - it would make the whole ordeal so much more easier. I never even vaguely remember the husband getting worked up about it and yet catastrophic is how it would feel to me , the end of the world , the end of me !

It took us a lil more than a year to get pregnant , boy ! the lil rascal made us wait alright :P and it was the most agonizing wait ever !! atleast that's what I thought and then fast forward I was in labor and believe me agonizing has a whole new meaning then ! 

What I really wish to say is that if you've gone through , are going through or have been through this , you know you're not alone and as outrageous as it may sound now , don't forget to laugh coz soon , yes sooooon this will be all over and they'll be a bonny baby in the house making you laugh so hard you''ll cry ..ha !!