My Boy'sterous Reflections

Image via Google

Consciously or unconsciously we all bring a wide range of expectations into our relationships everyday , these expectations maybe about the way things should be or how people should behave and often without any realization we thrust these unspoken , half hidden expectations presuming that our loved ones would somehow know and fulfill them ..thru ESP perhaps or mind reading ?

So ok , I'll admit , I'd probably like to give my spouse a tremendous amount of grief too for not knowing what I want , when most of the times he does ,  but that's the case  - not because he's read my mind - but because living with someone gives you the advantage of knowing a person and the more you know someone , the more are you able to anticipate his or her needs .. my spouse definitely did not know I want my coffee more than him in the mornings but over time he does .. 

 ..so the thumb rule here is to verbalise expectations .. 

it takes way less time and is far less agonising than the misery you're ready to put each other through !

But hang on , as important as it is to verbalize , its even more critical to ensure the expectations are realistic , not based on what you see around you or on other people's relationship or even what you see on television ..because its unfair to compare or be compared , because what you share is unique , and therefore deserves a bit of credit ..

The best part is once you communicate , discuss and set your expectations out in the open , you're able to weed out what is unreasonable or can't be done and put in equal effort to do what you can and do it better because you're now part of the same team , working with the same motive , to make the relationship great and when you're part of the same team , you've already won !!

Image via Pinterest

This made me laugh .. because that someone is/will be busy working while I've to go attend class .. but like a friend said , you kiss each other and life goes on :P

Image via Savagechickens

True for every relationship , but especially marriage when it comes to this particular virtue - the virtue of tolerance .. because once you're married the number of times one requires to be patient and tolerant is ironically sometimes beyond tolerance .. 

whether its learning to appreciate the fact that your partner may not always think or behave in a way you like or are used to , or the fact that you might face sticky situations that you've never dealt with , all by yourself or as a couple .. or even the fact that you must learn to respect , deal with a new family , their traditions and their way of doing things ..

For most I know dealing with your partner's family tops the chart because while living day in and day out with your partner makes you oblivious / habitual to each other's as annoying as they can get mannerisms and idiosyncrasies , nothing quite prepares you for the "in-law' syndrome .. and nothing I write here WILL ,  

so .. 

let's just say no matter how good or bad the circumstances are or get  , a little patience and tolerance goes a long long way in paving the path to any and every successful relationship/ marriage .. but tolerance is only possible when you share an open, communicative and reciprocal relationship , where one has the freedom to voice one's opinion without the fear of being judged or where one has the assurance that the other is as inviting of criticism as of correction .. and the absence of either turns tolerance into indifference ..

Love is not easy , neither are relationships but if you remember things that matter most like communication , mutual respect , faith , unconditional love , the rest falls into place , all on its own .. 

In the words of Paul Sweeney,

'A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. 

The order varies for any given year. '